My Confession Part 1

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I have a little confession to make to all my friends especially humans. If you are human not a ghost, or "some men" that often portray themselves as God, whom they are not. Then, you are the audience for this confession of mine. I shall in no wise make this a burden to you my reader, I will make it simple for your understanding.

I know am called to serve. 
In all sincerity, I don't know how to serve. I really desire it. But many times, am forced into an illusion that everyone should obey and serve me.

Please, forgive me for not serving yet demanding your service like your master. Even if I am (which I am not), am called to be a servant to you.
I am learning the concept of service and to actively engage myself in it.
Be patient with me as the path of service seems rough, demanding and sometimes, very frustrating.

I am human just like you. I am comprised of Spirit, Soul and Body. There is virtually no difference between you and I. Forget the fact that I may be knowledgeable than you or you might be experienced than I am, this is normal.

We are not born on the same day
If we were, definitely not of the same mother.
Our upbringing differs.
That does not mean we are different.
We are all from The Source (God)

You might have heard me screaming on top of my lungs lately about my new found faith and understanding. Probably, you are a regular reader of the stuffs I write. Whichever way. I am here to ask for your forgiveness.

I do not possess "absolute truth".

In time past, even as at yesterday, I thought I do, but now I know I do not.

Sometimes, the little I know confuse me because the Truth is the property of nobody. I can write some things today and criticize it tomorrow, maybe you had noticed that. I cannot count how many stuffs I had taught in time past that I later regretted and criticized. Not because they are fallible, but because they were traditions (or dogma) passed down to me.

In a nutshell, I am open to receive the fragment of the truth revealed to you. Be kind enough to share it with me without "name tags" that God has not given me.

I am living in a shadow called reality, everything seems obscure and blur.
It is in this shadow that I define a lot of things I do not know of and boast as if I comprehend all.
Do not praise me for what you hear me speak or write.
Praise me for who I am.
My weaknesses are unfathomable, my flaws are so glaring and it echoes through eternity
Yet I am loved as His beloved.

Praise me for my flaws, so that I can rejoice in my weakness and in the love that I had received.
With your permission, I will love to do the same for you.

I repeated a class in my life not because I was not brilliant, but because I chose to.
I lost my mum while I was very tender and innocent, when I could not define what is wrong or right. I grew up with a father that loves and want the best for me.

But, I was as lonely as mountain prey.
I knew what rejection is firsthand.
I knew what it feels like to lose your loved ones.
I have dined with pain and hunger.
I knew how bad it could get when you put your trust in a man.

I fell in love at a very young age.
I know what it feels like to be in love
I know what it means to be brokenhearted.
I was called names by those I loved for years unreserved
I have been pushed out of what I think was the best for me.
I was wrongly blamed and misused by mortals.

There are few things I do not know.

I do not know what it feels like to be Christ.
I do not know how painful the stripes he bored on his back were.
I do not know what it feels like to wear a crown of thorns
I do not know what it feels like to carry that heavy cross
I do not know how the piercing of the nails through His hands and feet felt.

When the grave opened its mouth wide to receive Him

I do not know what it means to die and be buried underneath the earth, deep down in hell.
I wish I know the meaning of his loneliness on that cross when he bore all our sins.
I really want to know, but now I do not know.

So my pain, agony, failures, rejection and all that are associated with me as human cannot measure up to what it feels like to be Christ.

Yet,
He loves.
He lives.
He forgives.
He pardons.
He weeps.
He embraces.
He cares.
He gives.
He cures.
He heals.
He comforts.

All that He is, makes my heart pant and cry to know just Him, and nothing else.
 
My goal is to just BE.
To be an expression of Him.
Forgive me if I am not.
I know I am not now.
I know that I fell in love with things outside of Him.
I Judged things from outside, because I never knew what it means to be loved.
Forgive me if I criticize you quickly and judge you like I know any better.
Forgive me for playing God or Christ.
I am neither the two.
I am just human like you.
Created by Him.

Now, I am learning.
I am unlearning.
I cannot tell you how long this will take,
But I know one thing, it will soon be over.
Be patient with me, as I will with you.


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About Post Author

Everything about me are expressions of the Invisible Lord who lives within the visible body

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About Me

I'm John, A writer, a blogger,a web designer/programmer, a gamer and God chaser...

I'm in love with anything that has to do with adventures especially "I.T world"

Currently working on my upcoming book "God story and Our Story". I think you will love it.

Thanks for visiting, You rock!!!

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