I’m not into writing things pertaining to “Family life” as it were, but, this piece you are about to read was something I shared a while ago with a group of friend and I felt it could be of benefit to you my reader.

"Singleness" is really a great thing in life; when your life is totally ordered or controlled by yourself without been questioned "why did you do what you did?"...

It’s really an adventure that life offers every-man/woman on earth. The challenge here is, once you've wasted that period, sorry you cannot get it back!

This is also a period I’ve found most parents becoming overprotective, forgetting that their kids would learn faster in their mistakes than been put in a "box" not to make mistakes.

Get me right, there are necessary things pertaining to life we need to have developed in our kids before they reach that teenage years. The "others" things of life are blocks that would be built on what has been laid in them. So, if we fail to do all the necessary things while they are still very young like three-twelve years of age, well it wouldn't be easy for us to tame them when they begin to clock fifteen and above.

Nugget for Parents (Using Jewish culture): A Jewish boy by the age of five knows the five books of Moses (the Torah), by fifteen years of age, the parent would bring him to the public place and declare "This is my Son, you can do business with him" The same thing happened thing when Christ was baptized "This is my beloved Son in whom I am well pleased", meaning, whatever he does or he will do, you can take me, his father for that.

Then, you'd wonder, why do they do that? Because, before their children reach the age fifteen, he or she has come of age. He or she has been taught, trained up to the extent that the parent can beat their chest and say such thing....

1. DON'T WASTE IT!!!....

You see when I mentioned not to waste your singleness; I really mean it because, it can actually be wasted in the name of pursuing one thing or the others!

Eccl 12:1 says "Remember thy Creator in the days of your Youth".

Most single peoples would remember that verse well in enough but some will fail to adherent to that simple instruction.

The time of your singleness is a time of getting acquainted with God. It is a time of unbreakable relationship with the Holy-Spirit. 

Hear me right, it is not a time for Chasing BOAZ or Looking for RUTH! Rather it’s a time to Chase Christ and knowing him in an intimate way not in head-knowledg­­­­­e. Once you missed that period, I won't say you can't find that time back but, it will be very hard for you because a lot of responsibilities will want to choke that time out.

I remember asking some single sisters at different times that "what's your goal(s) in life?" Well, I got all manner of answers but, they all seemed to be going toward one direction which is MARRIAGE! Then I pushed harder;

"After Marriage, what’s next?"...

"To have some kids and good home" they replied...

"After that what’s next?”

Then the silent... It seems to me that marriage is the peak every one of them is trying to reach. I'm not saying it’s bad to get married or to think about it, but if all you are seeking God for is that, then something is fundamentally wrong. It’s either you've wasted the precious time of your singleness pursuing "things" and not a "Person" or you don’t know the purpose of your existence...

Adam's job was to stay in Garden.

Isaac's job was to be in field at the time of the evening...mind you, these two guys weren't looking for wife.

Rebecca wasn't that much passionate about "where is the man that will marry me". She was more concerning about drawing waters from the well of salvation.

Ruth was not caught up in “Where is my BOAZ?”...

When you look at the people that got married in the bible, you will find that they were people that were more concerned about God!

So, brothers and sisters don't waste your singleness by pursuing shadows!

2. Know God's Will For Your Life And Stick With It...

Since you can't know His will without getting acquainted with Him. This make the first principle very important. It is an anchor that will hold your soul and all you'll ever become in life. There are many places the Lord talks about His general will for his children such as;

 "This is the will of God for you even your sanctification"

"In all things Give thanks, for this is the will of God for you".

 "God's will is for all to come to repentance" etc.

Those things are universal will of God for his children but, in them all God has a particular will for your life which may not be applicable to others.

When I say the will of God, I'm not actually referring to material-things (such as house, cash, Job, etc.) though, they may be included. What I'm referring to is "What has God designed you for on this earth?" "What is the purpose of your existence?"

 Let me include this by saying "If you don't know God's will for the creations then it may actually become difficult to know how you fit in and what God's will for your life is". God's will for your life must/will complement His will for His creations. 

If not, then, you need to go back, seek the Lord and know his will truthful.

Truth be told, if you take your singleness with levity, and use that period for yourself and not for God's purpose. When the evil days come you will realized that you have wasted your period on earth and it doesn't mean that you are not saved, rather it means you've forfeited things that God wanted you to experience in this life. 

So, get acquainted with God; know his will for His creations and inside that WILL you will find God's Will for your life....

The youths of this generation have one thing in common. Whether they be from Europe or from the dungeons of Africa; places or cultural background only magnify this particular one thing which is  "Serve No One"

We all love to be the master not the servant. We like to command respects, to give orders and send someone on errands but, we don't like to be that person. The greater adventure in life is to serve others.

When you get acquainted with God, to know him better than the way you've been taught, God in His sovereignty will introduce you to ministry of service, He will place situations and circumstances around you to teach you how to serve. 

But, this is where it gets tricky. Since it’s not in human to serve except to serve oneself. Since self-centeredness is totally entrenched in every one of us. Serving becomes a difficult or hard thing to do.

You know what; God has not gotten you in your singleness until He has got you to serve. 

Let's get this straight; I'm in no way referring to the activities in your local Church or denominations (though, those are good provided it’s of God and from God and for God)... I'm referring to serving people; your parent, the believers, the household of faith and your neighbors.

One thing I've found out over the years is this "People you gave money or material things to will forget you, because those things you gave only has an impact for a period of time; but people you devoted your attentions to, those whom you served both when it was palatable and otherwise, till their death, your memory, the impacts of your services will forever be before them"..

One reason the Apostles of old were able to served their generation wasn't because they knew bible very well (many of them were illiterates). Simply put, they knew One Servant (though, He is the great God) that served them. Jesus was a Servant on His earthly ministry and this same ministry He committed to our hands. Serve one another with all your heart!!

In your singleness learn to serve your parents, your brethren and humanity. It’s worth more than billions of dollars. This serving cut-across every believer both the old and young. Think of any minister, they are all called to serve the sheep not to use the sheep to acquire their wealth. (That statement is for another day)

That's the third principle of singleness- Serve humanity! 

This is also apply to husbands, wives and children. As you journey from been a single to a married person, these three "things" will keep confronting you, for you cannot do without them....

In every situation, you'll need God, in every matter, you'll need His will, to change your world and affect it positively, and you'll need to serve!

4. CONTENTMENT

"Godliness with Contentment is a great Gain"

So, singles like me, be contented. 

Okay, I can hear you saying, "there many thing to acquire. New phones, new clothes, new cars, the new fashion that's in vogue" All manners of things you wanna get. The world isn't gonna ease it on us. Every day we're gonna be bombarded with stuffs and sometimes or many times, our pays/salaries cannot carry the burdens that are thrown at us daily. 

Ladies hear me well on this, if you are not contented as a single sister. I'm sorry to say that when you married you won't be. Contentment will make you married God's will, abide in it and remain blessed.

One of the reasons our believing sisters don't marry early is because some of them are not "contented" with what they have. They want the guy in red, yellow and purple but, many a times, they end up not finding the Mr. Perfect and Super "rich" guy.

Brothers, you need this contentment because if you are not, your marriage will tell. No matter who you are, God wants you be you and above all, to be pleased with what you have. This is one of the alarms I will keep sounding till Christ come, ‘cause if we don't have contentment in whatsoever we have; we'll abandon God and His will. We'll fail to serve and at the end of the day, life will have no meaning. We'll blame God for our misfortunes.

Married brother: Oh! your wife’s ass is small or big? Be contented. She is ugly or beautiful? Be contented. Keep giving glory to God for all that you have and trusting in His provisions.

Married Sister: Your husband has a car or two? Be contented. He doesn't have any? Be contented. Your kids are in public schools? Be contented. They are in private schools? Be contented.

In whatever condition you may be always be contented (but don't be Lazy) for God will never leave nor forsake you!

So, don’t waste your Singleness.... Make it count, make it worthwhile, embrace it and let God be glorified in it and let humanity remember you for your services toward bettering their lives!!