The pressure coming from one angle to another either from family members, friends, colleagues at work, and from the pulpit boil down to the issue of Marriage. In fact, marriage nowadays is like being born-again or following Jesus. We've so made big deal out of marriage that the young men and women are even scare to get into it. But, marriage isn't a do or die thing. Paul remained single till his death yet the word the Lord spoke through him are still imparting thousands of people per day whereas some got married and there is nothing to write home about them, they didn't impart anyone. In fact they made marriage look silly and disgusting.

The problem here is that when we give priorities to things that are not supposed to prioritize our lives then such thing becomes a do or die affair.  Many of y'all that are talking and dying of getting marriage are actually failing by not giving priority to your walk with God. It is like throwing away your compass in a plane that has no direction. You see, plane is good, flying is great but what’s the usefulness of an experience pilot with a plane that has no compass. Marriage is good, getting married is great but to what use is it after spending all the resources on getting married without the Author of Marriage? Your compass in life is nothing but God. If you throw him out of the window before getting married, well may God help you in your crash-landing.

There is one thing I want to mention before I wrap up this point. I know some that have said (or May be you are part of them) they need to get married so that they can have seeds/children. To some of them marriage was (is) a do or die issue but what if you get married and there is no seed? I’m not saying it is bad to have such mindset but the question is what is motivating that in your life? And what if after marriage, there is no single child or issue? What will you do? We can quote God’s word from here to there like this one “there shall not be barrenness in your land” and yet, we have brothers and sisters that got married and till their old age no issue, no child. How do we account for that? Is God punishing them? Or is it their faulty? Well, we can speculate but that doesn't mean that our presumptions and speculations are right. There are something we don't and can't know for now until the ages to come.

Some us might need to marry in other to fulfill what God has called to fulfill, while some of us, the best way to stand in our assignment on earth and be fulfilled is in not getting married. Should we then make marriage a do or die thing, well it is our choice!

I’ve heard this cliché many time and to be sincere I was once a believer of that. You might as well heard such phrase like “if she refused to marry you, well she has missed God’s will and she will not be fulfilled in life” or “Hannah was made for Jacob. In fact, it was God’s will for Jacob to marry her but Jacob didn't marry her and he was miserable in life”. Sound familiar? Yeah, I know you've heard it and some of you also are preaching it.

I often wonder where this ideology came from. Is it from God, His word or philosophies of man? I’ve read my bible to some extent and but I never for once come across such thing. In case if you know where that is written you may point me in direction of that.

Isaac could have married any lady that came to the well but Rebecca came. I know some have built doctrine around that for years. But, we can't build a teaching around that and we dare not commit such blunder like that. We could learn a lesson from the life of Rebecca as a sister but our journey aren't the same as her. On the other hand if we wanna built doctrine around that lets follow the same pattern Abraham gave to his servant then rather than picking a verse or verses and building a doctrine around it.

So, stop it! There is nothing like “One woman/man for you.

Let me say this with all sense of humility and sincerity, the woman or man that will compliment you, that will have the same experience, the same goals, the same vision the Lord may have given to you are many because you are not the only that have that assignment. Though we are very unique individuals but our uniqueness isn't in vision or goal that’s set before us but the process by which that vision we are given would be executed!

When you understand that, you will cease from what men often define as “God’s will” in marriage. God is a perfect match-maker no doubt about that but, many time what we thinking of God’s will isn't what His will is. As a believer, you will meet a lot of ladies (sisters) many of these ladies will compliment you in many ways, some you will like to get marry to while others will remain as your friends.

The truth is that God does order our footsteps and many time we often miss it yet, God still provide us with the best despite our short-sighted. Should will build a teaching or an ideology around “if he/she doesn't marry me, he/she has failed and won't be fulfilled” what we are saying then is “God is Monster” whereas He is nothing but a Father, a good Father indeed.

Your choice matters in choosing a life partner (I called it life partner not a liability or burden) and God is always available to lead you in right part even when the person you chose refused you because of one thing or other. God is able to bring both of you (not just you that is refused) to another best partner with whom you will fulfill destiny.

Remember, that verse didn't say “he who finds a woman or a lady or a sister” rather a wife and someone isn’t your wife until you marry her, and you begin working toward your desired goals. The lady you see today may turn out to be the wife you needed and the man you see today may be the husband you deserved. The fact that one lady or guy refused you despite your been sure of him/her doesn't mean the end of your world invariable, it means there is a better man and woman out there that God has designed for the same purpose for your life.

And it doesn't mean that God will pushing them that refused you for another person. It just mean “People have choices, they’ll have taste and maybe you don’t fit into what they want in a man or woman despite your conviction”. Remember they also must be convinced in their heart to agree with your choice of them.

Grace and Peace!

Read Part 1 HERE

Read Part 2 HERE